"The Laughter of a Child is the Light of a Home"

Friday, January 9, 2009

Dear Previous Tenant

My sister recently took over your old apartment, so naturally I offered to help her clean it. I know that we all live different lives and have our own ways in which we do things... but come on. The amount of cat and dog hair that you left behind is innumerable as the sands on the beach. I am haunted by the fear of running across a furless animal in the future since I know I just vaccumed it all up. Speaking of hair.. how does one get so much hair stuck to the inside of the fridge? And speaking of stuck.. what is with that washcloth frozen in an ice block stuck to the bathroom window? We have many hours of cleaning left to do and so I felt it necessary to thank you for all the work you have created for us. Oh and by the way if you are looking for your Jack Daniels, broom, 12 glasses, santa in a sleigh, toilet brush, 20 disposable razors, ex-lax, and all other items that are too many to name you won't find them here. We have donated them to the Alaska Waste Lands.

Thanks again

Lady with nothing else to do.


The Ivey Family said...

Yea, sorry about that. I have done what you are doing once (ok hunreds of imes). The one that stands out was for a stripper, yea you heard me a stripper that worked nights and slept all day while her 2 year old nad 5 year old had complete run of the house and OUR YARD! they are why i dont fancy up my yard i lost ALL desire when countless times those unwatched kids would un earth everything. they would dig holes in our lawn! pull flowers out of the flower boxes etc. Oh and the unit you are cleaning is HEAVENLY clean compared to how her unit was left. she had a chow chow dog and they left in a hurry because we were evicting them and she left alot of things that i had to touch to throw away, you dont even want to know. Oh and about chest down on EVERY SINGLE WALL was crayon, marker, lipstick, food, i think POOP, etc. Seriously if it would make a mark it was there!! Dont worry it could be worse!! just ask if you need help in any way. If i can, i definatly will! Itll be a long walk to your sisters new place, but i'm here for you!

Lexi said...

oh my gosh, this is so funny. I loved the furless animal comment lol!